A very smart lady once told me, “Without your health… you have nothing!” A few years before that, I would’ve dismissed it as a quaint phrase someone would say as they got older. You know, in that window not long after you got your first AARP notification in the mail. But, her words were powerful, kicking me squarely in the gut — because she was battling pancreatic cancer at the time and living in my newborn son’s room. For close to 600 days, I watched and celebrated as she found joy in the smallest moments — which she truly did, as long as she felt good. When she didn’t, nothing else mattered. To any of us.
For the past 20 years since, I’ve been bedside at half a dozen people I’ve loved and lost for a number of reasons. Cancer. Emphysema. Renal Failure. Alzheimer’s. Even though their maladies were different, every single one of them echoed an almost identical version of that woman’s statement. When they were robbed of their health, they realized that people, places and things lose their value. It’s a lesson I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but the desire to have people learn earlier in life, is strong.
When I was a kid, I lived in a household with adults caught in the stranglehold of substance abuse. It never failed to amaze me how long nights of drinking would be followed by hangovers and weepy, sloppy promises to never drink or use again. While in physical agony, they’d moan and apologize and basically bargain with the universe to stop and appreciate all the good things and people they had. Sadly, the bad behavior would usually begin again once they felt better (often, conveniently, by Happy Hour).
Funny enough, I moved away from the home where people made bad choices about their health, into one that was the exact opposite. Living with people who made their livelihood from teaching, telling and selling a healthy lifestyle — was a complete 180 degree turnaround from the place I was before. There was wheatgerm and yogurt and gym equipment as far as the eye could see. Yet, even in a house where optimum health was the message of every day, where the occupants absolutely knew it was critically important… I don’t believe they fully understood what the opposite would really mean. I mean, the philosophy was there, but the appreciation of living without it, wasn’t. It was as if they truly believed that the constant pursuit of health meant never living a day without it. *Sigh* If only.
While I’ve always made an effort to have a healthy lifestyle, I know that this “vessel I’m borrowing” is imperfect and will likely cause problems over time. In fact, as I get older, I find I occasionally have to deal with a handful of the health issues that can come naturally. I think of it the way I do my car. It’s not THAT old and in decent shape, but there’s expected wear and tear on the engine, as with any vehicle with impressive miles on the odometer. As a result of being older (and hopefully a scintilla of a smidge wiser) I find I more fully understand how events, experiences and exchanges with people are most definitely colored by how you feel. I find that even a simple ache or pain makes me want to seize those days when I do feel great, but build a blanket fort and keep everyone and everything at bay when I don’t.
For decades, it has served me well, the phrase “Without your health… you have nothing.” It was something that forced me to fully embrace what exactly quality of life means. Moving forward, I think I’d like to turn it on its head (much like my yoga instructor encourages me to do), wrapping my head and heart around a more positive version. Because honestly, I believe I already have everything. Health (whatever degree today) is a blessed bonus.
“Happiness is the highest form of health.” – Dalai Lama
“A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.” – Irish Proverb
“Health is not valued, till sickness comes.” – Thomas Fuller