Not too long ago, I received an email from a man I’d met that read: “Here’s the profile of a friend of mine, I thought you’d like him. He’s me, but older.”
Ouch.
My response, read something like: “Thanks, baby boy. But I can find men by my own pitiful old self, without your big, strong, young brain jumping in to help me discern the difference between what I can and cannot handle in the dating world. You, who happened to look a lot older than you really are. You, you…ageist, you.”
I paraphrase, greatly – but honestly, he’s lucky he ran for the hills. I’d have snapped him in half.
The guy, having spent hours and hours in conversation at an event with me was fine with the idea of going out at a later date to lunch (Lunch! Not dinner! Not Acapulco! Not the altar!), until… he discovered our age difference. I’m older, though not exactly a cougar and certainly no Mrs. Robinson (yet). For the record, he was twelve years younger than me, not half my age. Going out on a limb, I’m going to bet a buck that he would likely have had no problem going out with someone of the same age difference, but in reverse. Meaning, put a nubile 23 year old in his path and he probably wouldn’t have had much of a hitch in his giddy-up.
Oh, that age-old (pun intended) double-standard. Men can date/marry/keep women half their age, but here I am rocking the half-century mark and can’t even share a cheeseburger with a younger man without making waves.
Recently, I actually did go out to lunch with a much younger man (over 18, but not by much) and his mother (she’s my friend, he’s her son – it’s nothing weirder than that, so gotcha!) and while we dined he happily gave us the low-down on what the new rule for dating a younger person is , male or female. I’ve since backed it up with extensive research and found it to be relatively universal. According to Generation Z (born between the early 1990’s), there actually is a formula they go by:
Half your age (starting at age 18) plus seven years.
Which means, on my birthday this Friday, I could feasibly go to dinner and a movie with someone 31.5 years of age and it would be totally socially acceptable. Half my age plus seven years would have made the above-mentioned “You’re too old me for me” Jim Lange, Jr. and his own personal version of the Dating Game (which he wouldn’t know, ‘cause he was too young) eligible for the likes of me. That is, if he wasn’t such a weasel.
No matter. I won’t be employing the ½ + 7 rule anytime soon anyway. Because I’ve already found a younger man (by half a dozen months) who suits me just fine, who is happy to sit across the table and have any meal and hours of conversation with me. I kind of like him. He’s me, but younger.
“It's important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.” – Author Unknown
