“Everything comes too late for those who only wait” said Elbert Hubbard. Elbert and I could have been friends, had I been around back in the late 1800’s. A terribly sad fact about Elbert, was that he and his wife died aboard the Lusitania after it was hit by a torpedo and sunk by the Germans, but even in the last moments – character was revealed of the highest nature, which I greatly admire. The Hubbards knew when they boarded the ship, that a state of war existed between Germany, Great Britain and her allies and that there was great risk of sailing in a war zone – yet, they chose not to wait as they boarded the ship in New York for their trip to Europe.
Ernest C. Cowper, a survivor of that event, wrote of watching Mr. and Mrs. Hubbard walking into a room on the top deck (when they knew that there was an issue with the lifeboats) and quietly closing the door behind them, wishing only to be together once they understood that the end was near for them. When faced with their fate, they chose to not even wait for that.
Not that waiting is wrong. There are plenty of reasons to wait. For example, I believe that it is wise to wait 1,001 nights before sealing your soul to a mate. I think it is smart to eat a good meal and have a decent night’s sleep before signing any important documents or committing to a big job. Even when the line is long, you are exhausted and your patience is tried, I have to think that the wait is probably necessary and the reward at the end maybe just a little bit sweeter than it would have been without a wait at all.
Then again, life often presents situations where only waiting might leave you holding the bag, a day late and a dollar short (and a very unflattering expression on your face). Many times (and I speak from painful experience), not speaking your mind when the opportunity presents itself can leave you with a hole in your heart all the remaining days of your life, for one reason or another. Also, waiting to pull the trigger on a life-altering event, purchase or decision… can leave you forever changed, but not in the way you’d hoped and/or dreamed.
No. Waiting isn’t always the best tactic.
Currently, I am working to make a move that will improve the quality of life for everyone in my inner circle, having thought it out for over a year and doing the necessary homework for the last 8 months. Unfortunately, I have one beloved naysayer who tells me that I “shouldn’t do anything yet” and that “it’s better to just wait awhile.” You should know that this person once had a chair in the entryway of her stately home for years, sitting with two swatches of fabric on the seat that nobody could sit on, as she was unable to make up her mind. One day, her interior designer quietly removed the chair and simply had it covered in one of the choices of fabric, returning it equally as stealthily with the other swatch attached and a note that read, “Don’t like it? You can always have it covered in the other fabric in a few years.” Sometimes, waiting is not based on wisdom, but good old fashioned fear which tends to leave one inert. Waiting, based only on indecision often leads to a crippling paralysis where nothing ever gets done.
I’m also not a big fan of the kind of waiting that leads to constant laments of Woulda/Shoulda/Coulda. If waiting hurts your heart and psyche to the point that you are constantly living in the past and bringing it up in the present, with never-ending conversation about all that might-have-been, had you not waited – well, that’s not healthy, my friend. Then again, a life with your hands so tightly wrapped around the cracked crystal ball of Shady Maybes (because, face it, no matter how smart and magical you are, you really can’t see into the future) isn’t good for you, or anyone listening to you, either.
The waiting game is one that has no set rules and no guaranteed outcomes, but it is a fact of life, not that knowing makes it any easier. Especially, those decisions that have to be made in an instant or the ones that affect others around us. Lee Iacocca once said, “So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we don’t just sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we’ve satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.” I take this to mean that we’re to use our critical thinking skills, move forward and then choose to live with that decision, no matter what. Whether simply a chair in the foyer or a major decision that can ultimately decide our fate.
It has been said that if you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything. When all is said and done, I realize that I want to be a member of the club that will not wait until it’s too late.
xo – t.
“Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait. The truth is, there are only two things in life, reasons and results, and reasons simply don’t count.” – Dr. Robert Anthony
“Don’t wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day.” – Albert Camus”
“Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.” – Horace Mann
“My mother always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said ‘Just Wait.’” – Judy Tenuta