• Yes, the woman in front of you at the grocery store has 18 items, in contrast to your measly two, but it is not her fault that the store only puts one checker to work at 6:30am.  Repeatedly sighing as loud as you possibly can is just making the other people around you uncomfortable.  Cut that out.
• Look at your life.  Look at your choices.  I know you’re not drowning, but I really thought that you knew beforehand that serious head injuries result from diving into a shallow pool.  I’m sure it all looked warm and inviting, but you should have stuck your toe in first before deciding on total immersion.  You should also know that the kiddy pool get cold and boring eventually. Even for the kiddies.
• You.  You, who systematically pushed every decent person out of your line of vision because you decided you vahnted to be ah-lone, dahlink – I’m thinking you cannot complain about the empty wasteland that has become your life.  Mostly because you designed that landscape, Bucko.  If you want something to grow now, you’re going to have to be the one to do all the planting and tending.  Just don’t expect those seeds to now show up uninvited.
• “All the world is a stage,” according to Shakespeare and therefore, drama begets drama.  Even though you complain about it now and again, you have to remember that you are director, choreographer and often pen-wielding librettist of all that lies before you.  Sadly, there are no award ceremonies to attend when all is said and done and I’m sorry that, as you pointed out, nobody seems to appreciate your efforts.  Well, besides me – who watches in amazed fascination at all of the productions you involve yourself in.
• You sir, you are a rebel!  I totally get it.  You don’t dress to conform to what the world expects of you. In and of itself, that is actually an admirable trait.  But, it does pain me to see that the guy who valet parked your car the other night (the car with the price tag equal to a family dwelling for three or more occupants) was better dressed than you.
• Just because I sit quietly listen to you pontificate about your moral, political, religious or sexual orientation issues does not mean I have to reciprocate or that I have to have a rebuttal.  One size does not fit all, yet I’d like to think we can still walk alongside each other.  Stop trying to bait me.  You wear your shoes and I’ll wear mine.  I have never needed my friendships to be all matchy-matchy.
• There is no way in Hades that I am ever going to let perfection be the enemy of perfectly good enough.  If my dinner shows up and it is not to my exact specifications, I am grateful for the hands and heart that prepared it.  If my hostess likes to play John Denver or Perry Como over not-so-loud speakers in her dining room, I’m fine.  The world is not my oyster and I do not expect to see pearls every time I open my eyes.  I have to say, I wish you could do the same.
• A wolf is a wolf is a wolf.  Putting on sweet sheep’s clothing doesn’t suddenly make one pure as the driven snow.  The cunning predator can still be seen.  Even Red Riding Hood’s grandma knew that.
• Please don’t be surprised that relationships around you changed once you spoke the inflammatory remarks that you did.  It was bound to change everything, just as if you had sprinkled sand into a salad you served – it went and ruined what was just fine to begin with.
• Stop saying, “I’m sorry” for every little thing.  All of those teeny tiny things you keep apologizing for?  Those aren’t things you should be feeling badly about.  Save it for the big instances in your life.  Then the words will have more weight, in your mouth and on your heart, as you deliver them to the person who has to carry them from that moment on.

“I rant, therefore I am.” ~ Dennis Miller

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.” ~ Phyllis Diller