There is a candy bar commercial whose tagline is “You’re not you when you’re hungry.”  Well, pardon my snarkiness – but I am absolutely ME, when I’m hungry.  However, I’m just the most wicked, “Oh, there will be blood!…” version of me when I’m hungry.  And, if you haven’t seen it, let me paint a picture: It isn’t pretty.

I am a person that has to eat.  I have to eat or there will be heck to pay.  It is also such a predictable state of being that my family and friends have taken to labeling this obnoxious condition: Hangry.  Hangry is a terribly foul, volatile combination of hungry and angry that come together in a form of nuclear fusion, which, to give you (and me) a brief refresher course in science is “the source of all the energy so generously radiate by the sun.” (Thank you for that, Earth Guide.edu.UCSD).  The sun.  A big hot ball of fiery, relentless burning unpleasantness.  Eeyup.  That is pretty much me without a meal (as my ample derriere will attest).

There is nothing good that can come from my not eating.  Full disclosure?  It is a family condition, too.  I have to believe that my children would probably not require any type of blood DNA test to prove that they are mine, either.  Just withhold a meal from them and they will, without fail, provide evidence that the apple (not eaten) does not fall far from the tree.

I want you to know, that I’m not proud of this hangry business.  It has caused more problems and uncomfortable situations over the years than I’d honestly like to admit. [To that end, let this serve as a public apology to all those suitors, PTA moms and grocery clerks that stood in the way of my wrath (and dinner before the movie, a.m. bagel table and not-quite-ripe bananas).]

My son, who has inherited the Hallmark of Hangry (coupled with autism, a very interesting combination) has engaged in some enraged, knock-down/drag-out arguments with me – only to become the purring pussycat I know, once his gullet is full of pan fried potstickers, freshly made rainbow roll sushi or Sloppy (but ultimately polite) Joe.  They say that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” — but in my household, it is also the way to a tranquil heart, composed head and civil tongue.

Physicians claim that hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) is the reason for hunger-related anger.  Apparently, brain cells don’t receive enough glucose, which is fuel for the brain.  The higher brain functions, which include the ones that suppress anger, shut down first.  I actually read a quote that said, “Other symptoms of hypoglycemia are headache, shakiness, complete loss of sense of humor, and a physical inability to smile.”  Wow.  Not smiling.  That’s pretty bad.

Now, before you go thinking that I’m just making excuses for bad behavior, due to my not receiving appropriate snackage – Hangry has become an international, recognizable thing.  There are quite a few of us out there.  In fact, the Merriam-Webster online dictionary now has definitions for the word hangry.  Here are a few:

(adjective) : easily angered because of hunger

She was already feeling hangry when she saw that the waitress didn’t do anything to prepare her orders.

(adjective) : The feeling of being so hungry that you get mad, upset and or angry.

Come on Lou! Let’s go already; I’m starving. I am getting hangry!!!

(noun) : Experiencing anger caused by hunger

Ivonne thought she should make her husband a snack to prevent him saying something nasty because he was hangry.

During World War II Frank Loesser wrote an American patriotic song, “Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition.”  I’m at a point where I don’t want to fight anymore, even if I am starving and ready to poke somebody in the nose.  It’s in my best interest (and everyone in a 3 foot range) for me to accept and embrace my hangry tendencies (and fantasy of the size 2 skinny jeans) and sing a new song.  Praise the chef and pass the mashed potatoes.”

< Smile. >

xo – t.

***

“I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.” – Anonymous

“A hungry stomach cannot hear.” – Jean de La Fontaine

“It is only our bad temper that we put down to being tired or worried or hungry; we put our good temper down to ourselves.” – C. S. Lewis

“Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” – Dr. Laurence J. Peter