Q: I have a co-worker who makes some pretty offensive jokes and comments (misogyny, cursing, you name it). I feel like I should say something, but I don’t know how.  Other people laugh nervously and talk about it afterwards, but nobody ever confronts the situation. I’m afraid it will never stop. Afternoon T. should I say something to stop the offensive comments at work?

A: Oh, for the love of pique: Yes, yes, yes-yes-yes.  If your co-worker has the unmitigated gall to make everyone around them uncomfortable by spraying social and emotional Agent Orange wherever they walk, you most certainly have the right to dish up some of what that person has been serving. But, we’ll fancy it up a bit, so it’s not as nasty as what is in their pot. [The recipe for that, in a moment.]

It makes more than my tea kettle boil, when I see that the world has become a place filled with uncreative and terribly unsavory material across all platforms.  There is something exciting about how technology has made way for a 21st century creative Renaissance, of sorts. But sadly, reality television, free-for-all on-line posting and no-filter radio/podcasting has made the average bear think that they are wickedly entertaining and worthy of any soapbox, with zero editing and absolutely no critical input (except for the nasty on-line community bullying that takes place and that’s wrong, too).  The result of no constructive criticism or molding of any kind, is that some of the most obnoxious individuals get a complete and total pass to be boorish weasels of the loudest kind.

Once upon a time there were editors and critics who stepped up to make sure what we were hearing/watching/reading was entertaining, captivating and certainly worthy of our time. When it came to comedy, there were teams of people that worked tirelessly on material to make sure it was funny.  Funny… with a capital F. And not material filled with the debased, ridiculously unoriginal four-letter ‘F’ word that people think magically make a story more hysterical by using it liberally (which it does not). Just like too much salt in our stew at a restaurant, we can say, “No.” and send it back. A lot of what we’re subjected these days, is our own fault. We’re not asking for premium grade content. We’re just accepting what’s being served.  Even in our daily lives, we take what’s offered to us. By not speaking up, we’re actually saying, “Please, sir? I want some more.”

So, from this day forward, my friend — you will put on your manners pants (knowing that coworker is standing in skivvies, having forgotten theirs), smile and politely give a bite-sized critique of one, or more, of the following before you walk away: Not funny. Not nice. Not necessary.

Even social media gives you the power to block offensive content. Like Dorothy in Oz, you just needed a reminder that you’ve had the power all along, my dear.

xo – t.