Q: Why is a bad thing to be proud of your accomplishments? I have an aunt who is always warning me and my brothers about bragging. Why try to do stuff if we can’t be proud of it?

A: It’s not a bad thing to be proud of your accomplishments. Self-esteem and a sense of pride in a job well done is wonderful and quite healthy but, when praise is put upon your head (or comes out of your mouth) that isn’t earned or deserved, that’s when things gets ugly.  Pride, all by its lonesome, isn’t necessarily the bad thing. It is a bad-bad thing when someone suffers from hubris. Hubris. Sounds rather disease-like, doesn’t it? It kind of is. Let me go all WikiTikiTaviPedia on you and give you my favorite quote about it: “Hubris often indicates a loss of contact with reality and an overestimation of one’s own competence, accomplishments or capabilities.” Now, when a lone individual goes to drink from their own prideful fountain, that’s pretty benign. It’s when that person serves up a vat of their excessive, foolish pride kool-aid their family, employees or followers – that’s when people get hurt. There’s a whole lot I could say about that, but we’d need a lot more tea and sandwiches (and time together) to address it properly.

Let’s concentrate instead, on the healthy aspects of self-esteem, pride in yourself and ways to express the positive aspects of who you are and what you do.

When you do good things through hard work, charitable actions or academic achievement — your sense of self will likely be elevated and chances are, you won’t feel the need to crow about it, nor will you require verbal validation from others. Richard E. Cytowic, a professor of neurology at George Washington University, says “A look at accomplished individuals who regularly win awards and medals shows that they are driven by the effort rather than the result. It is the striving rather than the reward that is long-lived.” Historically speaking, the most TRULY accomplished people were often quite humble, folks who were reluctant to toot their own horn. They didn’t feel the need to be boastful or sing their own praises, others did it for them.

If you just present the best you that you can be, people will take notice. You don’t need to announce how good, how smart, how strong, how <insert marvelous accomplishment here> you are. Those closest to you, the ones who really matter (family, friends, employer, etc.) will see you for who you are and what you do. If you’re proud of that, then they will be, too. Because of the way you conduct your life and your business, you just might stand taller and smile more. People will see the pride in your stride. Walk the Walk and you won’t need to Talk the Talk. Your aunt might just give you a well-deserved pat on the back, the next time she hugs you. No words (or bragging) necessary.